Maxim
Happiness is reality minus expectations.
“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.”
Stoicism · Classical (200 BCE – 600 CE)
Translation: public-domain translation (Higginson)
Watch on YouTube: Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness ↗Dan Gilbert discusses this idea
A popular modern formula. When expectations outrun reality, disappointment fills the gap; holding them lightly leaves room for contentment.
Related expressions
“Happiness equals reality minus expectations.”
“My third maxim was to endeavor always to conquer myself rather than fortune, and change my desires rather than the order of the world.”
“for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
“He who is satisfied with his lot is rich;”
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”
— Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (2016), ch. 1 “Don’t Try”, p. 9; checked via Wikiquote, not the book. The same wording appears in book summaries and uploaded copies found via Internet Archive full-text search, but no authorised scan, preview or publisher excerpt was availableEchoes Epictetus, Enchiridion VIII: wish events to happen as they do happenWatch on YouTube: Mark Manson: The Subtle Art (summarized by the author) ↗Mark Manson discusses his bookWatch on YouTube: Mark Manson with Chris Williamson ↗Mark Manson discusses this idea (Modern Wisdom)
Score
Moral Rank 51.9 · Evidence E = 11.62
E = ln(1+2.03) + √2.03 + 3·2.03 + 1.5·2 = 11.62